I can’t believe our girl is almost a year old and that I’m back to work in a few weeks. I don’t even want to think about it. Going to back to work makes sense for us for a whole lot of reasons. A year ago I thought I’d welcome the return. Now, absolutely dreading it. I can’t imagine not being with my girl everyday. With my long commute I’ll barely have any time with her on the days I’m working onsite. Thankfully I’ll be able to work from home a bit too.

So many things to write about in babyness and otherwise. At some point I’d like to write some baby gear reviews, my experience with cloth diapers (largely good!), how maternity leave has been, how far we’ve come and how much has changed in so little time. It’s truly mind blowing. I remember worrying if I’d be good at this, the whole Mom thing, since I’d never really been ‘maternal’, never one to get all gooey over other peoples’ babies. With my own it’s, as I’d imagined, completely different. And I’m doing okay is this Mom thing, JP even admitted that before she was born, he worried about how I’d be with a baby but he thinks I’m doing an amazing job, way better than he’d imagined. And I tend to agree with him.

Right now, she sleeps. We’re on day 5 of sleep training, our second attempt. The first was months ago, in the fall I think, it was terrible. First I tried the ‘no-cry’ sleep solution which, unfortunately, involved alot of crying (on both our parts!), then we tried ‘Sleep Sense’ and ‘Health sleep habits, happy child’ – Weissbluth’s methods. When we both got sick all efforts went out the window. This week hasn’t been so bad – I’ve been doing a mix of sleep sense and Weissbluth. Maybe she wasn’t ready before, maybe I wasn’t consistent enough. There’s tears at naptime still, but not too many, and as all the books promised (but didn’t happen before!) it’s gotten better each day. Though I miss the naptime cuddles it’s quite liberating not to have to spend 2-4 hours lying in bed with her and it’ll help teach her to sleep on her own. Not to mention all the chores I can get done while she sleeps, leaving more time for me to actually play with her when she’s awake. Everyone wins!

We’re off to the beach when she wakes so I have to start getting everything together. Just wanted to write a quick post, I’ve missed this space and I’ve missed writing. It’s been a crazy year, so much change and things have been hard and really challenging at times but they’ve also been heart-explodingly good at times too. So glad to have a healthy, happy baby finally (though I still worry all the time about her weight, she’s dropped percentiles and is small now….another posted entirely!) and we’re already thinking about ttc#2 (another post too!), then there’s the 2011 recap, and, and, and…better get packed before my girl wakes up.

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